Do You Hate Me?
by NightFuryMorpher
Summary: "Anxiety gripped him. What if Tobias hated him for what happened? Would he ever forgive him?" Tobias returns three months after the end of the war, and Jake worries that Tobias won't forgive him for Rachel's death. NO SLASH. AU; characters may be OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. Hey, guys! So, I decided to take a break from my other Animorphs fanfic. It kind of lost interest for me, so I might not even continue it. However, I do plan to finish this one. Sorry if the characters are a little OOC, but they're in a unique situation, so I think they have good reason to be. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading! Constructive criticism is always welcome, so please review!**

Jake sat at the counter with his head in his hands. A mug of hot chocolate sat untouched in front of him. Dark thoughts roiled through his mind like a whirling storm. Three months after the end of the war, and he still felt the pain of Rachel and Tom's death as if it were yesterday. After that last day, everything was a whirlwind. Interviews, funerals, award ceremonies. They passed in a flash.

He was very surprised, though, when the government awarded the Animorphs millions of dollars. They called it "compensation" for their sacrifice, and "the world's gift" to them for their courage. It bought them a nice mansion for all of them to share, anyway. All of them but one, that is.

When Tobias flew away after the Blade Ship landed, Jake had felt as if his heart were being ripped in two for the second time that day. He knew that Ax had felt the same. But Ax wasn't the reason why Tobias had gotten his heart broken. Jake knew that it was all his fault, sending the first person who had ever loved Tobias to her death. The weight of his guilt was crushing.

He was worried. Oh, he was so worried. Some part of him wondered if Tobias would ever come back. He was certain that the only reason Ax stayed on Earth, was the hope that Tobias would return to them. Jake told himself that if Ax could hope that, then he would have to as well.

Someone entered the kitchen. He lifted his head and smiled weakly. "Hey, Cassie."

She managed a small smile back, as if she knew what he had been thinking. "Hey."

"Where are Marco and Ax?"

"In the living room, watching the news," she paused. "You should come join us."

Jake was about to politely decline, when he saw her expression. She was clearly worried about Jake, and didn't want him to be alone. So he answered, "Yeah. Okay." He stood, took her hand, and followed her into the living room.

Marco sat there, and Ax in human morph. As Cassie and Jake entered, they turned to face them. "Hello, Prince Jake," Ax said.

"Hey, Ax," Jake replied. He sat on the couch. "What's on?"

"The news just ended. America's Funniest Home Videos is about to start," Marco answered, looking carefully at Jake.

Jake smiled slightly. "Sounds good," he said. Heaven knew he needed to at least try to laugh.

"Though I have spent quite a few years on Earth," Ax began, "I still do not understand why humans enjoy the embarrassment of others on national television."

"Because, a lot of people are idiots," Marco replied. "Plus, people do need to laugh after a stressful day."

"Ah. I see."

Just as AFV was starting, the doorbell rang. Everyone looked up, confused.

"Who on Earth could that be at this hour?" Cassie wondered.

"Interviewer?" Marco asked.

"Don't know," Jake said slowly. "I'll get it."

"You sure."

"Yeah. You guys just stay here." Jake walked out into the hallway and to the front door. He paused, steeling himself for the onslaught of questions if it was an interviewer, and for whatever else if it wasn't. He opened the door…

And wondered why some kid would come to their house at that time. Then, he wondered why the boy seemed so vaguely familiar. Slight build; messy, dirty blond hair; grass green eyes flecked with gold…

He inhaled sharply.

"Hey, Jake," Tobias said cautiously.

**Please review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N Hey guys, sorry about the wait. I've been meaning to update for a while now. Well, here's the next chapter. Hope you like it!**

**Thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapter! **

**People who review get cookies! (: :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Animorphs**

Jake shouted, and practically crushed the smaller boy in a hug. Said boy gave grunt of protest, and tried to wriggle free. Cassie, Marco and Ax, who had raced toward the door at Jake's shout, stopped cold. Ax made a strangled choking noise. Jake let go, stepped back, and Tobias was free for a split second before Ax, Cassie and Marco caught him in a big group hug. The look on Tobias' face was so comical, that Jake actually smiled.

After a couple minutes of hugging and some tears, everyone had calmed down enough to start asking questions. And, even get a little angry.

"Where have you been?!" Jake practically shrieked. "We've been worried sick!"

"I'm sorry," Tobias said, looking uncomfortable.

"Sorry?!" Marco said. "Is that supposed to make us feel better?"

"I really just needed to be alone for awhile," Tobias said softly. "Sorry."

"That does not answer the question of where you were," Ax pointed out gently. He looked like he half thought that Tobias wasn't real, and was trying to make sure he didn't disappear again.

Embarrassed, Tobias said, "I just around. Went different parts of the forest, slept in a different tree each night."

"Why didn't you come back sooner?" Marco demanded. "Why did you stay away for three months?"

Taking a shaky breath, Tobias answered, "I don't know. I kind of lost track of time…I think I just wanted to forget."

He looked up and said, "That's why I came back. I knew that I couldn't just forget. It would be wrong of me. I know I had to-" his voice broke, "to honor Rachel's memory by living the rest of my lifelike she would have wanted me to," he took a deep breath. "So…I'm going to overstay the limit in human morph."

There were several exclamations of surprise from the others.

"Whoa!"

"Wait, what?"

"Really?!"

"Yeah," Tobias said. Then slowly added "And, I thought…maybe I could, like, stay with you guys? If you would have me, that is."

Jake, Cassie, Ax and Marco exchanged meaningful looks.

"Oh, Tobias…" Cassie sighed.

"What kind of a question is that?" Marco started.

"Of course you'll stay with us," Jake said firmly.

" I do not think that you would have a choice, anyway. You are my shorm, and my nephew. And I believe I speak for everyone when I say that we have always been, and forever will be your family. We will always be here for you," Ax said warmly.

Tobias gave a shaky smile, and whispered "Thanks".

"So!" Marco said suddenly. "Now that the weepy, soap-opera stuff is over, why don't I go get one of the guest rooms ready?"

"Yeah! We'll need to get bedding, towels, any extra toiletries we might have, and a couple extra sets of clothes," Jake said with energy.

"Okay. I'll get the bedding and towels," Cassie stated.

"Ooh! I'll get some extra clothes since Tobias seems closer to my size" Marco said.*

"Then I suppose that I will get an extra toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and whatever else you might need," Ax told Tobias.

"Deodorant," Marco cut in.

"Wouldn't you like me to do that?" Jake asked Ax before Tobias could protest that he could do it all himself.

"That depends," Ax turned to Tobias. "Are you hungry?"

"No," Then his stomach rumbled audibly. Ax crossed his arms, his eyebrow raised. Tobias looked sheepish. "Okay. Maybe a little."

"And I have not yet learned how to cook. However, Jake does."

"I'm sorry, what?" Jake asked.

"You and Tobias get something to eat while the rest of us get the room ready," Cassie said firmly. "I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about." She gave each boy a pointed look before walking away with Ax and Marco.

Tobias and Jake stayed standing there, both looking more and more uncomfortable. The awkward silence increased until Jake, who could stand it no longer, asked, "So…you wanna get something to eat?"

"Yes, please," Tobias answered shortly.

_Nice, Jake, _Jake thought._ This is turning out to be a great start._

**A.N. * So, here I was just assuming that since Tobias was trapped as a thirteen-year-old, he hasn't aged physically. The others, however have aged normally, and are now fifteen. Marco, not being very big to begin with, would now be closer in size to Tobias since he has grown while Tobias hasn't. I don't know if this was ever pointed out in the series, so I just decided to go with this. :) **

**Reviews and constructive criticism are always appreciated!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N. Hello, again. Next chapter up, with a little drama added! Thanks to iris129 for reviewing the last chapter. Greatly appreciated, as are all reviews!**

**Please note that all my stories, and all future stories, will now be under the username NightFuryMorpher.**

**Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Animorphs.**

Tobias followed Jake through the house, feeling apprehensive. Things had kind of gotten awkward between them ever since what happened to Rachel, and he wasn't sure what to say about it. So instead, he looked around and whistled appreciatively.

"Nice place," he said.

"Yeah, well," Jake said as they reached the kitchen. "When the world is grateful to you for saving the world-"

"You get a mansion?" Tobias asked as he helped Jake get the stove ready for spaghetti.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Apparently."

As the water boiled, they stood silently, looking away from each other as they tried to find something to say.

Jake glanced over at Tobias. He knew that he was probably thinking about Rachel. Jake would never forget the way Tobias looked at him after she died. The look of betrayal, because he _knew_ that her death had been Jake's fault.

Anxiety gripped him. Would he ever forgive him? Jake doubted it. Rachel had meant so much to him. Tobias didn't know how much Jake regretted her death, and hurting him at the same time. With that thought, Jake realized that even though Tobias might not want to listen, Jake had to try to make him understand how sorry he was.

So, without thinking, Jake blurted, "I'm sorry."

Tobias looked at him sharply. "What?"

Jake took a shaky breath. "About Rachel. I…I'm sorry."

Tobias looked away so Jake couldn't read his expression, but he could see the tension in his shoulders. "Is that supposed to make it okay?" Jake heard him murmur.

Jake tensed.

"If there had been any other way, I would have taken it," he rushed desperately. "I didn't want to use her, you must know that!"

"And you knew how much she meant to me!" Tobias said.

Jake looked taken aback. He paused, thinking his next words through. "Yeah. I did, and I still went through with it. But you have to understand that I just couldn't kill Tom. I'm sorry…" it sounded weak, even to him.

Tobias sighed. "Yeah, I know," he whispered, eyes downcast. "I forgive you."

"And if you hated me forever I would understand, but I had to-"Jake stopped. Looked at Tobias with disbelief. "Wait…what…?''

Tobias let out a breath. "I forgive you," he said again.

Jake paused. "You…you don't hate me?"

The corner of Tobias' mouth twitched. "If I did, would I accept an offer to live in the same house as you?"

Jake chuckled somewhat nervously. "No, I suppose not."

"But…I did…at first," he raised his head to look at Jake. "I didn't understand then. I didn't want to. All I could think was how you sent Rachel to her death, like all she was good for was your dirty work. That's how I saw it." He fell silent.

"And now?" Jake pressed gently.

Tobias looked at the floor again. "Now I understand that she would have done it whether you asked her to or not. I know now that it was the only choice." He hesitated. "I just wish…that it would've been me instead of her. That I had died in her place."

Jake stayed silent for a moment. Then asked, "So Rachel could suffer without you?"

"She's stronger than me," Tobias answered. "She would have been able to move on."

Jake shook his head. "You meant too much to her. The only thing keeping her sane at the end…that was you. She told me herself."

Tobias didn't respond. Jake shook his head again, a ghost of a smile flickering across his face. "In her eyes, her mission was to make sure that the Yeerks got beaten so that you- and the others, but especially you- were safe. It's amazing to me that Rachel could've ever cared for someone the way she cared for you," he paused. "She asked one last thing from me. Before she left."

"And what was that?" Tobias murmured, still looking at the ground.

Jake looked away. "She asked me to protect you. In her place," he glanced back at Tobias. He had his lips pressed together in an expression that Jake might have taken for annoyance, if he hadn't seen the tears that threatened to spill over.

Jake took a deep breath. "I promised her that I would."

"Tobias, sounding genuinely confused, asked, "Why?"

"Because, you guys are as close as family. And I feel responsible for you guys. You and Marco and Ax are like the younger brothers I never had."

"Aside from Ax, I never thought about what it'd be like to have a brother," Tobias said.

"Well, now you'll find out, I guess," Jake said. He felt a little more at ease, now. Still, he asked, "So, you really don't hate me?"

Tobias laughed quietly. "If I hated you, do you really think I would've accepted an offer to live in the same house as you?"

Jake hesitated, then chuckled. "No, I suppose not."

He checked the spaghetti. "Well, it's ready. Wanna eat?"

"Yeah."

**A.N. Well, that's the next chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed! Please review!**


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